Outside, It's Cold, Baby
Celebrating Family at Christmas
Driving around doing Christmas errands, my boys and I struck up a conversation: "What's your favorite Christmas song?" One by one, we offered our favorites. When it got to my turn, I told them I'd strictly limit my selection to Christmas "songs": I'd not include any of my favorite Christmas "carols" or other traditional music. Then, I quickly blurted out, "Baby, It's Cold Outside". "Why, Dad?", they asked.
CHRISTMAS CELEBRATES FAMILY FORMATION
Christmas is, really, about family formation, isn't it? Here we are, with Christmas, celebrating the birth of a child, the baby Jesus, born to Mary and Joseph. They formed a family with the birth of their son, and - - we all know the story from there - - go on to form a larger family, the greater Christian community, one that spans time and geography.
"Baby, It's Cold Outside" is a lovely duet where each and every line is a "call", from a party guest, eliciting a "response" from the party host. Classic call and response.
(I really can't stay) But, baby, it's cold outside
(I've got to go away) But, baby, it's cold outside
(This evening has been) Been hoping that you'd drop in
(So very nice) I'll hold your hands they're just like ice
- "Baby, It's Cold Outside" by Frank Loesser, 1944
Our charming host is trying to convince his lovely guest to stay inside, at the party, for a romantic evening; he's trying to overcome her feelings that she should return home, lest she concern her family and neighbors. We overhear, we witness via song, a freshly-generated chemical reaction, one that might lead to more, perhaps courtship, marriage, and, one day, children. "Sons", I explained, "this is that initial moment … this is how babies get made."
But Semper Doctrina, how is this a post about leadership, strategy, or innovation?
RITUALS RETURN RESULTS
I'm very interested in rituals and their connection to individual and group morale. Morale leads to individual and group behavior, and, if aligned with mission, mission success. I shared some thoughts in an earlier post, "Camo and Corn Dollies - - You too need a few good rituals".
Very early church records (2nd century AD) show that Christians were remembering and celebrating Christ's birth but don't seem to mention a fixed date. By the end of the fourth century, it seems to have settled on December 25th, the traditional date of the Roman winter solstice.
As Christmas and its traditions evolved, it incorporated more and more pre-Christian symbols and rituals into the Christmas celebration.
In my "Corn Dolly" post, I state, "Group Rituals Are Group Prayers". The corn dollies for a good (future) harvest, mistletoe at Christmas for (future) babies!
Mistletoe has long been a symbol of fertility, its white berries seen to resemble semen. It was believed to have power as a cure-all, especially for barrenness. The Greeks, Romans, and Celts all included it in their rituals, and in the Western world, early Christians continued to hang it overhead. Lovers were expected to kiss under the mistletoe. It also protected the household from witches and demons.
The tradition evolved and stuck: A man is allowed to kiss any woman standing under the mistletoe; it's bad luck to refuse a kiss! It's believed the kissers will have enduring love and be bound to marry.
MAKING BABIES: MOTIVE, MEANS, AND OPPORTUNITY
We all know from watching a good whodunit, a good detective looks at the means, motive, and opportunity of a suspect to solve a criminal caper. By the same token, a community that wants to encourage children strategically creates those same three conditions for its members.
According to the National Center for Health Statistics and the Social Security Administration, September is the most popular month to give birth to a child. Nine of the top ten birthdates are in September [the outlier is July 7th, for some strange reason]. Why September?
"If you back up 38 weeks, that means many couples are conceiving in December and around the holidays," explains Whitney Casares, MD, MPH, FAAP, author of The New Baby Blueprint: Caring for You and Your Little One. "It makes sense that they may be more likely to conceive during more celebratory seasons." - Maressa Brown, Parents.com
Looking back at our college years, we adults can understand how Christmas, like Thanksgiving, creates important opportunities for our children to bring home a loved one to "meet the parents". This boyfriend or girlfriend might be the first "serious" one.
Our early Christmas celebrants knew, somehow, that the Christmas traditions, the gatherings, the mead, the mistletoe, the music …the merriment, fostered couple formation. They knew that getting folks together around the winter solstice was good practice, a good time to encourage, and to facilitate, couples getting together to form families.
ANY RITUAL THAT WORKS IS A GOOD RITUAL, EVEN IF YOU DON'T COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND WHY
Modern science can tell us something else, as well, something about the "means". We know another reason why the winter solstice rituals work.
Sperm concentration is lowest August through October and picks up as winter approaches and temperature declines. There are less well-understood impacts on ova, as well. We know why babies cluster in September: Winter is a good time to make babies, particularly November and December.
So there you have it! Celebrating Christ's birthday is a ritual celebrating his birth, and celebrating birth, generally. The holiday and its traditions create a special occasion for "formed" families to gather while at the same time, creating the means, motives, and opportunities for the formation of new ones!
Merry Christmas all!